Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Seeds of faith and trusting God...a sister in the Bloggeratte Sorority shares...
For quite a while, I've been thinking about how I was going to begin this particular post..to encourage you to chase your dreams and to share a little about my life journey. I truly never dreamed in a million years that I'd be a blogger. At the same time I never dreamed I would be having so much fun blogging. I'm taking more and more leaps of faith towards living the life I imagine, and you guessed it...blogging...and I call it 'living a little out loud'. This avenue of sharing seems to be the wind in my sail. Among so many things, I've always wanted to become an inspirational writer and/or speaker. I have MANY journals in large flowered trunk to prove it. It's a beginning for nothing is impossible with God. My inspiration comes from 1000 different directions. The strongest one is from God's Word (the Bible). Next the many insights from stwant2be (me)..the numerous places that God has planted me. I've thought often that words are containers of power? It's NOT that I want power...it's just that I want to make 'my point' or 'a point' with well chosen words to be completely understood. My hope is that through blogging, with our choice of well chosen words, we will be successful inspiring one another to build up the body of Christ. Hope...'expecting something good to happen'.
Can you believe that I've always been a pretty private person? It's true. I've never been in a chat room and it was just recently (confession...I'm so behind the times) I just took my first look at Face Book viewing my grandsons page a few weeks ago. He said "Grand ma ma, everyone has a face book page." I said "No, not everyone." Oh please don't get me wrong...I love modern technology and I don't have anything against chat rooms or Face Book...with good morals in place of course. I'm just a late bloomer but...slowly...I'm blooming. Everything is in God's timing. Lately...my life has been full and even fuller as I'm always thinking/planning my next post.
Once upon a time last winter...my beautiful, lovely, creative daughter got me hooked on reading her blog everyday. It was like I moved into her neighborhood...so cool! She brings so much joy into my life! We are the best of friends and since she began blogging the physical distance between us (3 hour drive) is almost invisible! I read her posts one new one after another and feel like I'm there in the moment. It doesn't get better that does it? I laugh, smile (SOL smile out loud), cheer for our grandsons when they are being recognized with good grades or birthdays, and cry when she shares about sweet memories of her sister, memories of growing up and other sentimental moments that she has experienced. After I catch up reading her blog, I off reading others having fun.
When I asked my daughter the reason she decided to blog she shared with me that at first she was an avid blog reader. After she started her blog...she enjoyed the fun of learning about so many new fascinating things. Often she'll leave me an e-mail..."Mom, you might want to check out this ladies blog...it's amazing!" Now, I have to share that she is the most amazing Mom, daughter, sister, friend, Aunt, neighbor, professional photographer and brand new daughter-in-law too. What a full life! She's someone who is VERY nice to know, always caring and sharing her love, time and talents.
One day we were at her computer she asked me "Do you want to have a blog Mom? It's sure fun." Nervously I answered "yes" and I was off the first time in my life...living a little out loud. There is no way I could have done it without her expertise...I know so little and she knows so much! Besides surprising a few friends who I've told that I have a blog spot (some still can't believe it and some don't even know), I've surprised myself. It's a big leap of faith and confidence being totally aware that anyone can read my posts and see the photos. The photos I include bring life to the stories I have so much fun sharing. I have many more stories...and I know that you do too. Can't wait. Actually, my posts are are pretty simple and honestly, I like the way God created me even with all I've been through, I wouldn't trade my life with anyone for anything in the world.
Sharing our faith journey is really important because we share the creative energy that God has blessed us with. When I was deciding a name for my blog, I instantly liked these three words: Blooming in Kansas. They have a sweet whimsical sound like 'Bloom Where You're Planted'. It was only in the last couple of days that I realized the best title for my blog should be Blooming in Kansas from seeds of faith trusting God 24/7. Adding those seven elements truly describes my life journey. Another reason for this post...is to share a little of my personal journey that has been most difficult.
In 2008 my family experienced the most painful tragedy imaginable. My biggest nightmare became a reality. Our oldest precious, beautiful, talented daughter, one of my best girlfriends ended her life. Yes, SENSELESS! All I will share about that subject is that she was severely depressed. There is no doubt to us, no question about her faith, we knew full well how she loved God and her family more than anything. Something died in me the day we lost her and the many, days and months that followed were nearly unbearable. Buckets of tears and then some. I have finally forced myself to let go and let God, trusting Him 24/7. God is the answer...He is always the answer. I am a woman of strong faith and have always been a big advocate promoting life from the moment of conception to natural death. All Life is precious. It is cause for celebration! I couldn't believe that this sort of tragedy could happen to me! ME? I questioned myself over and over, how can I possibly live through this depth of pain? The love and prayers of family and friends carry me through. It's not easy. There are days still days that all I could do is float. This experience it the heaviest cross to carry. Through seeds of my Catholic faith I have become even stronger and closer to Christ. I understand now, how we can grow stronger under life trails because we need God more that ever. God has a good plan for us. He paid the price for us to have and enjoy our lives no matter what! God is with us always. He is my strength and my sweetest joy and can be yours too. In my 'heart of hearts' I feel God smiling at me right this very second sharing these deep feelings of faith with you. I have learned that Christ sorrows right along beside us when we hurt. We are His creations. My daughter will always be one of the loves of my life. One of my quests now is keeping my daughters beautiful memory alive in my heart. She was an amazingly person with many talents. I pray for her and others like her. Prayer changes everything. We've all said that God doesn't give us more than we can handle...He must trust our family A LOT.
One of my wishes is to bloom with seeds of faith trusting God where I am planted, and currently that's right here in Kansas. One thing terrific about living in Kansas is we do get to enjoy all four seasons (fairly evenly). In my neck of the woods there should be an added season called flood season! Did you see the photo of our grand dog Mocha and the REAL Kansas driftwood? Wild...but true! My hubby scratching his head. "Why did you drag it on the veranda" he asked. I said "There's a story there...a real flood story!"
I am blessed with a the MOST loving, best of friends 'fire proofing' husband, two amazing generous adult children, terrific daughter and son in law and seven of the most wonderful talented grand children in the whole wide world. They are the other loves of my life...my family treasures. We persevere in faith.
I'm so happy to share, and let me be totally honest....it's HARD WORK to be chasing one of my favorite dreams again. For a while, it was necessary for me to put my big dream on hold, on a shelf in 'The Keeping Room'. God willing and the river doesn't rise I will write a new post sometime soon. The next post is going to be called something like 'The Little Women's Room' which I am in the middle of creating/preparing for our five sweetheart grand daughters who just moved back to the U.S.A. I am so excited because the room is turning out so cute with lots of special touches from Grand ma ma. We are all very thankful and excited to have them close, although we LOVED sight seeing in Europe! Our family will celebrate the 4th of July this Saturday. I can't wait to take pictures of everyone and celebrate! I'll be watching for yours too.
I've experienced that by placing God in the center of my life, everything...EVERYTHING has came together and God can do the same work in your life. Do you have a dream? Something important that you are trying to accomplish? Take a leap of faith! Do you need my help with anything? Just let me know. I'd love to hear about the seeds of your faith...and how you are blooming.
Posted by Patty in Oz at 5:03 AM